


been away for some time, finding it hard to unwind

by chahakyn



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Light Angst, Post-Season/Series 02, Spoilers For the End of S2E10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:09:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26282446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chahakyn/pseuds/chahakyn
Summary: Sissy sends a letter and Vanya makes a choice.
Relationships: Harlan Cooper & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Sissy Cooper/Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 11
Kudos: 91





	been away for some time, finding it hard to unwind

**Author's Note:**

> insert some hand-wavey bs about how sissy’s letters addressed to vanya reached the academy in an alt. timeline where vanya wasn’t part of the umbrella academy okay susPEND YOUR DISBELIEF
> 
> fic title is from [ Love in the City](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6NC88sbP1-g&ab_channel=JohnStokes-Topic) by John Stokes (bc i had it on loop the entire time i wrote this. sue me)

Vanya barely has time to register the uncomfortable feeling of being launched forward in time, blue energy swirling around her, before they land unsteadily in middle of the Umbrella Academy foyer looking exactly like it did before her…destructive rampage.

Luther twists his head around, taking it all in. “What…what day is it?”

Five snatches up a newspaper from the table, sending a pile of letters fluttering to the ground as he frantically scans the front page.

“April 2, 2019.” He looks up, relief evident on his face.

“We stopped the apocalypse. It’s actually _over_.” Allison turns to Vanya, grinning as she pulls her into a tight hug. Around them, everyone breathes a sigh of relief, tension lifting as they exchange hugs and claps on the back, wandering into the sitting room in a daze. Allison follows them, muttering about Claire as Klaus pulls her in for a drink, and Vanya makes a move to follow them before the mess of letters on the floor catches her eye.

She bends down, neatly scooping the papers up from the floor and shuffling them into a neater pile before pausing as a yellowed, older envelope catches her eye. Sliding it out from under the others, Vanya freezes as she reads the name of the recipient, _her_ name, in neat, sloping script. She turns the envelope over to the back, breath catching in her throat.

_From: Sissy Cooper_

Her vision narrows down to the letter, everything fading into the backdrop as she reads the words over and over again in disbelief. _Sissy_. But then Allison is calling her name and Dad’s _alive_ and there’s the Sparrow Academy and Vanya can’t breathe, bombarded with information and questions and emotions that she can’t parse through, all while Sissy’s letter burns a hole in her pocket.

It isn’t until Vanya blindly stumbles out the door, sitting hard on the steps outside the Academy, that her mind slows down, focusing on the letter. Her fingers tremble as she opens the envelope as quickly as she can without tearing it apart, eyes scanning the paper frantically.

_Dear Vanya,_

Vanya stops reading, finger tracing over the shapes of her name as penned by Sissy’s hand. She’s almost reluctant to continue, wanting to savor what could be the last words she receives from the woman she loves. But her impatience wins over reason, and Vanya greedily reads the letter once, twice, and then a third time.

It’s a simple letter, merely telling Vanya of their move to California and informing her of their new address. Sissy writes a bit about Harlan and how much he misses her. How much they both miss her. It ends with a request that Vanya visit whenever she gets the chance, informing her that she’s always welcome no matter how many years have passed.

_All my love to you, Vanya_ is what Sissy closes the letter with, and Vanya can feel tears welling up in her eyes as she ducks her head, trying to keep her breathing in check.

In through the nose, out through the mouth.

_Don’t think about Sissy waiting decades to see you, don’t think about Sissy dying not knowing where you are, don’t think about Sissy possibly finding someone else to soothe the ache in her heart, don’t think, don’t think—_

“You want to see her.”

Vanya twists around, relaxing slightly as she sees Five leaning against the doorway, hands tucked into his pockets.

“Yeah. If she’s even alive.” Vanya lets out a hollow laugh, clutching the letter a little tighter between her fingers.

Five tilts his head, curious. “What are you going to do? If you see her.”

“I don’t know,” Vanya says, expression pinching as she thinks. “Talk to her? Ask her how she’s been, if life treated her well. How Harlan’s doing. How she’s liking California over Dallas.”

Five says nothing as he slinks over to her side, sitting himself next to her on the concrete steps. Vanya turns to look at him before sighing, scrubbing her face with one hand.

“I’d ask her if what we did together made life better for her and Harlan.” Vanya says quietly, voice immeasurably weary. “I don’t know, Five. 57 years is a long time.”

“It is. But a wait that long usually makes the reward that much better.” He quirks his lips in a half-smile, the dimple in his cheek showing. They both know his words stem from experience, from his time spent alone in the apocalypse.

Vanya considers this. She _wants_ to see Sissy, that much is certain. But there are so many factors, too many things hindering her along with more than a tinge of fear; what if Sissy doesn’t want to see her? What if 57 years was _too_ long? But Sissy wrote her a letter…what does that say about it?

Five must see the war going on in her head because he shakes his head with an amused noise, disappearing in a flash of blue. He reappears a moment later, standing in front of Vanya with the briefcase extended in front of him.

“Take it.”

“I—”

“Just take it. You’re going to regret it if you don’t try.” He raises a brow as he shakes the briefcase slightly, like enticing a dog to treats. Vanya snatches the briefcase with a huff as she stands, peering down at the dials. Five glances at the address written on the envelope in Vanya’s hand before flicking switches with ease.

“If you get stuck there, give me a call and I’ll pick you up.”

Vanya snorts. “You don’t even have a phone.”

“Send up a smoke signal, then,” Five says, rolling his eyes. “I’ll find you.”

“Thank you,” Vanya murmurs, grip tightening around the briefcase handle as she steps back. Five nods, casually tucking his hands into the pockets of his shorts.

“’Course. Just…” Five pauses, giving Vanya a familiar look and suddenly, it’s like they’re 12 again, hiding under the covers as Five tells her of his fears and wishes, a raw, unbearably vulnerable look in his eyes. “Make sure to come back, alright?” He finishes softly, looking away. Vanya sighs, putting down the briefcase before pulling him into a tight hug.

“Oh Five,” she murmurs, “I’ll always come back.”

“You better,” Five says, voice muffled against her shoulder. He pulls away, squeezing her shoulder before stepping back. “I’ll see you soon.”

Vanya nods, picking up the suitcase and smiling at him before pressing the button. The image of Five smiling back jerks away in a crackle of blue energy, and Vanya suddenly feels that uncomfortable but familiar pull yanking her across miles and miles before dropping her onto unfamiliar land.

Vanya staggers slightly, hunching over to brace one hand against her thigh as she catches breath and takes in the new scenery around her. Sprawling land surrounds the few houses on the street, all far enough away from each other that it feels as much like the layout of a countryside farm without actually being one. Vanya smiles. She can see why Sissy chose it.

She looks up at the unfamiliar house, glowing golden in a dusky sunlight and takes a deep breath, steeling herself before walking up to the front door and giving it three firm knocks.

“Can I—” The man opening the door freezes, looking her up and down.

“Vanya,” he breathes, and Vanya tilts her head, taking him in.

“Harlan?” The moment his name leaves her lips, she knows it’s him. The boy she just saw hours before is now a full-fledged adult, taller than her and much older. He gives her a smile, hesitant but warm and genuine.

“Harlan? Who is it?” A voice calls from in the house. Harlan glances back before beckoning Vanya in, giving the briefcase an odd look as he shuts the door behind her.

“It’s Vanya, Ma.” Harlan tips his head in the direction of a room, letting Vanya walk in without ceremony. She steps carefully into the doorway, eyes immediately landing on Sissy sitting up in her bed. She’s older now, much, _much_ older, blonde hair turned silver over the years. Her skin is wrinkled, weather-worn with crow’s feet around her eyes, and she’s smaller now, frame hunched over in her age. And yet, despite the stark contrast between the Sissy in her memories and the Sissy sitting before her, Vanya still feels like her breath is being stolen away.

“Vanya,” Sissy murmurs, eyes widening in shock.

“Hey.” Vanya gives her an almost sheepish smile, ducking her head as she drops the briefcase by the door before walking closer to the bed. “I promised I’d come back when I could.”

“That you did, that you did.” Sissy tilts her head, eyes locked on Vanya as she beckons her closer. She tangles their fingers together almost unconsciously, clutching Vanya’s hand like a lifeline.

“You look just like the day you left, “ Sissy says almost reverently, eyes roving Vanya’s face as one hand gently touches her cheek.

“That’s—" Vanya stops to give a startled sort of laugh as she mulls the words over in her head. “You’re not wrong. I came back from 1963 hours ago. It’s been less than a day since I last saw you.”

Sissy gives a slow shake of her head as she smiles. “I’ll never understand that.”

“I honestly don’t understand it either,” Vanya says, shrugging helplessly. Sissy makes an amused noise, rubbing her thumb over the knuckles of Vanya’s hand.

“So, nothing’s changed for you since we last talked?”

“For me, not much. Though, it turns out the time traveling back here from 1963 created a whole new side of my family since my dad didn’t adopt us in this timeline—” Vanya stops herself from rambling, shaking her head as she waves her hand. “But that’s nothing, how are _you_? It’s been—"

“57 years, yes,” Sissy says quietly, giving Vanya a look she can’t quite read. Vanya deflates, expression sober.

“I know. I’m sorry it had to be this way. I would have come back sooner if I could—”

“Don’t apologize.” Sissy squeezes her hand, smiling gently. “I’m just glad you’re here now.”

Vanya smiles back, relieved. “I’m glad to be here.” She pauses, looking around the room.

“I love the house. Has this been your home since you left Dallas?” Vanya asks, beaming as Sissy’s expression brightens and she launches into a story about their life in California, Harlan’s job, and everything in-between. They talk and laugh and talk some more until the moon is high in the sky, mugs of tea growing cold as the converse earnestly.

It isn’t until Sissy begins to blink sleepily that Harlan moves from his spot in the doorway to touch Vanya’s shoulder, an action that pulls Vanya out of the trance she had been under Sissy’s words and presence.

“I think we should call it,” he murmurs, nodding at Sissy.

“Oh, of course, of course,” Vanya babbles, quickly standing up. She presses a quick kiss to Sissy’s cheek, startling slightly when Sissy pulls her a little to the side and fits their mouths together in an achingly tender motion. Her lips are different, but the taste is the same, sweet against Vanya’s tongue as her hand gently cups Sissy’s face.

Vanya smiles at her when they separate, brushing a few loose strands of hair from Sissy’s face.

“I’ll come visit you?”

Sissy gives her a soft smile. “You can, but there’ll probably be no need for that.”

Vanya’s brow furrows. “How do you mean?”

“I’m a tired woman, Vanya. Just holding on, with barely enough strength to get through the day.” Sissy laughs, slow and warm like honey. “But somehow, it’s like I was holding on just long enough to see you one last time.”

Vanya’s eyes widen as she catches Sissy’s meaning, hands coming up to frame Sissy’s face as her eyes dart about in panic.

“Sissy—”

“Vanya.” Sissy stops her firmly. “You’ve brought me so much joy, and now you’re bringing me peace. I can die happy now.” She cups the back of Vanya’s head with her hand, a sad smile on her face. “I only regret that I can’t bring you the same.”

“No, Sissy, you…” Vanya exhales quietly before tilting her head, looking Sissy in the eye. “You’ve made my life better than I could have imagined. I wouldn’t trade my time with you for anything, you understand?”

“I understand,” Sissy whispers, tears gathering at the corners of her eyes. Vanya gives her a watery smile, hiding her face in Sissy’s shoulder as Sissy’s hand come up to embrace Vanya, rubbing her hands along her back.

“It’s late, best be getting home,” she murmurs quietly after a bit, wiping a stray tear from Vanya’s cheek as she looks up. Vanya nods, and they slowly separate, gazes lingering as Vanya moves to the door.

“I love you, Sissy.”

“I love you too, Vanya. So _very_ much.”

Turning her back on Sissy again is one of the hardest thing Vanya’s ever done. But she does it, letting Harlan walk her to the door. Harlan opens it for her before pressing a slip of paper into her hand.

“My phone number,” he says quietly. “It’s been a long time, but…Ma always talks about you so much, it’s like I already know you.” He laughs, giving her a sheepish smile. “I’d like to stay in touch.”

Vanya looks down at the scribbled numbers, smiling. “When I get a cell phone, you’ll be the first person I call.”

Harlan nods, hesitating before giving her a quick, tight hug. Vanya returns the hug before slipping out the door, briefcase clutched tight in her hand.

She steps into the front yard, exhaling as she looks up at the sky. Compared to the Academy at the heart of the city, there are countless more stars visible here. In that way, it reminds her of Dallas. The stars were always visible on the farm, twinkling brightly like the spark that always seemed to be hiding in Sissy’s eyes.

Vanya sighs, flicking her gaze toward Sissy’s window. The curtains wavers for just a moment, and Vanya vaguely wonders if Sissy’s there, watching. Vanya tilts her head, directing a small wave and a smile before activating the briefcase.

They didn’t have much time together, but it was all worth it, Vanya decides.

It was more than worth it.

\---

Outside Sissy’s window, there’s a brief flash of blue light before the darkness sweeps in again. Sissy smiles, shuffling back into bed and drawing the covers up around her.

Waiting 57 years was all worth it.

It was more than worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> yes vanya is going to get a phone directly after this so she can contact harlan. they're gonna be such good friends ( ´ ▽ ` )
> 
> come find me on [ tumblr](https://shizuoi.tumblr.com/) if you want to talk more!


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